I was raped?
Through different parts of my life I have been sexually, physically, emotionally and verbally abused. Well here we go again and this time its pretty feaking bad.
The first time I was raped/sexually abused I was just a toddler. My biological father and sometimes his friend would come in while I was in the bath or playing in my room and make me touch them or they would touch me. To the point, that one time I was taking a bath, my father was in there with me and my mom opens the bathroom door sees that I am being touched wrongly and she walks out of the room. Then a year later, after not being able to get my little girl parts to do what he wanted them too, he kneed me in the stomach… At this point I am bleeding from both my vagina and anus so my mom finally leaves him. Sad part is, is that there is more that I remember I just don’t feel like writing it all down now.
Then in HS after a horrible break with the love of my life, I started casually seeing this guy who I knew through mutual friends. One night we were all sitting around getting impaired in one way or another and I told him that I was going to bed but did not want to have sex that night. 2 hours later I wake up to him getting me naked and fucking me while I told him no. My good friend was on the floor and she was so scared she wouldn’t move.
Alright long story short… I went out with some friends got beyond drunk, to the point I can barely remember parts of the night. I thought I was with people I could trust. At some point in the night I believe that I kissed this guy, although I can’t quite remember. When we went to drop him off at home I wait for the other people to get back, at some point I went and laid now. The next thing I knew he was on top of me, inside me. I had no pants on and my shirt and bra were above my breasts. I screamed for help but no one helped. When I finally got the guy to get off me by his child who was apparently in the room waking up, I ran and got my phone called my SO and he called the cops. I had to go to the hospital, I was ripped, torn, bruised and bleeding and had random markings. Now a week or more later, my SO can’t seem to get over the part that I kissed someone else. Shouldn’t we be more worried about the fact that I was raped? How do I talk to my SO about any of this?